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Therapy for Individuals Navigating Non-Monogamy and Polyamory

Let’s work together to create the authentic, fulfilling relationships you desire.

We specialize in evidence-based therapy for individuals navigating non-monogamy, polyamory.

What is Non-Monogamy and Polyamory, etc.?

Non-monogamy (noun) : is a broad category encompassing various relationship structures where partners are not limited to one romantic or sexual partner.

Polyamory (noun) : involves the engagement in consensual, ethical relationships with multiple partners, with an emphasis on communication, honesty, and mutual respect.

Open Relationships (noun) : explore intimacy or romantic connections with others outside their primary relationship.

Solo Polyamory (noun) : chooses not to prioritize a primary partner and cultivating multiple meaningful, independent connections.

Relationship Anarchy (noun): rejects traditional relationship hierarchies, allowing for fluid and flexible relationship styles based on shared values and connection.

How Might You Benefit from Therapy as you Navigate Your Relationship?

For many, non-monogamy and polyamory are paths to greater intimacy, personal growth, and freedom in relationships. But navigating these dynamics can raise new questions, feelings, and challenges—whether you’re figuring out how to communicate boundaries, manage jealousy, create a balanced approach to time and energy, or process changes in your relationship configurations.

Some people find themselves exploring:

effective communication

Open, honest communication is essential in non-monogamous and polyamorous relationships. You might seek support in developing the tools to express your needs, concerns, and desires clearly and to effectively navigate communication in moments of conflict and disconnection.

Jealousy/comparison

It's natural to experience jealousy, but learning how to work through these emotions and embrace comparison (the joy in seeing your partner happy with someone else) can foster deeper connection and growth. You may wish for support in building insight into jealousy triggers and how to move through them in your relationship.

Boundaries/consent

Each person’s needs and boundaries are unique. In fact, you and your partner(s) may have needs and boundaries that are occasionally in conflict. You may wish to explore how to communicate and honor boundaries in ways that feel respectful and authentic to everyone involved.

self-exploration and identity

Non-monogamy and polyamory can be pathways to self-discovery and also invite important questions about identity, desires, and life goals. You may wish for support in navigating related questions and in building insight into patterns of relating with others romantically.

Relationship challenges

You may be seeking support in navigating practical and emotional challenges in your relationships, whether you're in a polycule, open relationship, or are exploring solo polyamory.

Relationship parameters

You may be seeking a space in which to explore your and your partner(s) definitions and ideal implementations of non monogamy and/or polyamory and identify how they compare. You may wish to align related expectations and ensure that you are on the same page.

If these things are on your mind,
you’ve found the right place

Our team will use the following modalities to support you

  • CBT is a structured, goal-oriented therapy that focuses on identifying and changing negative thought patterns, emotions, and behaviors.  For those exploring non-monogamy and polyamory, CBT offers practical tools to manage emotions, challenge societal conditioning, and build self-awareness.

    How CBT Can Help:

    • Managing Jealousy and Insecurity: Non-monogamy can bring up feelings of jealousy or insecurity. CBT helps individuals understand these emotions, challenge unhelpful beliefs (e.g., "If my partner loves someone else, they love me less"), and develop healthier perspectives.

    • Addressing Internalized Stigma: Society often stigmatizes non-monogamy, which can lead to shame or self-doubt. CBT provides strategies to counteract these negative messages and affirm individual choices.

    • Enhancing Communication Skills: Misunderstandings can arise in any relationship, and CBT equips individuals with tools to express their needs clearly and constructively.

    • Building Emotional Resilience: CBT helps individuals manage the ups and downs of exploring new relationship dynamics by fostering adaptive coping strategies and emotional regulation.

    Techniques in CBT for Non-Monogamy:

    • Thought Records: Identifying and challenging thoughts tied to jealousy or societal judgment.

    • Behavioral Experiments: Testing new ways of responding to emotional triggers, such as practicing open communication during challenging discussions.

    • Reframing Exercises: Shifting from a scarcity mindset (e.g., "There’s not enough love to go around") to an abundance mindset.

  • Gottman Couples Therapy is a research-based approach designed to enhance communication, intimacy, and conflict resolution. It provides valuable tools for navigating the complexities of non-monogamous relationships.

    How Gottman Therapy Can Help:

    • Strengthening Communication: Effective communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Gottman therapy teaches techniques like "I-statements" and active listening to promote understanding and connection.

    • Conflict Management: Disagreements are inevitable, especially in complex relationship structures. Gottman therapy equips partners with tools to navigate conflicts respectfully and productively.

    • Building Trust: Non-monogamous relationships often require a high level of trust. Gottman therapy fosters this trust by encouraging transparency, shared goals, and emotional attunement.

    • Enhancing Intimacy: Physical and emotional intimacy can be enriched through exercises designed to deepen connection and mutual appreciation.

    Techniques in Gottman Therapy for Non-Monogamy:

    • The Sound Relationship House: Building a strong foundation of trust, commitment, and shared meaning.

    • Love Maps: Understanding each partner’s inner world, values, and desires.

    • Repair Attempts: Learning to de-escalate conflicts and maintain emotional safety.

  • EFT focuses on the emotional bonds between partners, helping them develop secure attachments and navigate relational challenges. For individuals and partners exploring non-monogamy, EFT provides a framework to address emotional needs and foster deeper connection.

    How EFT Can Help:

    • Addressing Emotional Vulnerabilities: EFT helps individuals explore and express their emotional needs, reducing fear of abandonment or rejection.

    • Strengthening Attachment Bonds: EFT fosters secure attachments, ensuring that all partners feel valued and supported.

    • Navigating Complex Emotions: EFT provides tools to process emotions like jealousy, fear, or uncertainty in a compassionate and constructive way.

    • Promoting Emotional Safety: By creating a nonjudgmental space, EFT allows partners to express their feelings openly and strengthen trust.

    Techniques in EFT for Non-Monogamy:

    • Emotion Tracking: Identifying and understanding emotional triggers in relationships.

    • Reframing Interactions: Transforming negative cycles of communication into positive, bonding moments.

    • Creating Secure Bases: Building a foundation of safety and support within the relationship.

In summary

Exploring non-monogamy and polyamory often requires balancing personal growth, relational dynamics, and external pressures. An integrative therapeutic approach combining CBT, Gottman Couples Therapy, and EFT offers comprehensive support:

  • CBT helps individuals manage emotions, challenge limiting beliefs, and build self-awareness.

  • Gottman Therapy strengthens communication, trust, and conflict resolution within relationships.

  • EFT fosters secure attachments and emotional connection, ensuring all partners feel valued and supported.

Together, these therapies provide a holistic framework for navigating the complexities of non-monogamy with confidence and clarity. Whether you’re new to these relationship dynamics or seeking support to strengthen existing ones, therapy can help you cultivate meaningful, fulfilling connections.

Meet our Couples Therapists

  • Janine Cheng, LCSW

    FOUNDER + CLINICAL DIRECTOR

    Read Bio

After Couples Therapy

Many patients complete couples therapy after 10-20 sessions and report:

Emotional & Mental Well-being

  • Increased emotional security and trust in the relationship

  • Reduced jealousy, comparison, and fear of abandonment

  • More confidence in personal worth and relationship stability

  • Less anxiety about partner’s other connections

  • Improved emotional regulation and self-soothing skills

Communication & Conflict Resolution

  • More open and honest conversations about feelings, needs, and boundaries

  • Increased ability to navigate difficult emotions without escalating conflicts

  • Stronger skills in active listening and validating each other’s experiences

  • Less avoidance or fear around discussing concerns and insecurities

  • More comfort with expressing desires, limits, and boundaries clearly

Relationship Agreements & Boundaries

  • A clearer understanding of personal and shared values in non-monogamy

  • More alignment on relationship agreements and expectations

  • Greater respect for each other’s autonomy and individual needs

  • Increased flexibility and adaptability in adjusting agreements over time

  • Reduced fear of discussing changes or renegotiating boundaries

Jealousy & Emotional Management

  • A healthier relationship with jealousy—seeing it as an opportunity for growth rather than a threat

  • Improved ability to self-regulate and manage feelings of insecurity

  • Increased self-trust and trust in partners’ commitment

  • More ability to feel compersion (joy for a partner’s happiness with others)

  • Less reliance on external validation from partners

Time Management & Balancing Relationships

  • More intentional time management between partners and other relationships

  • Greater ability to prioritize quality time without guilt or resentment

  • Reduced stress around scheduling and emotional energy distribution

  • More balance between autonomy and shared relationship responsibilities

  • Increased ability to maintain personal well-being while managing multiple relationships

Sexual & Intimacy Growth

  • More open and shame-free discussions about desires, needs, and boundaries

  • Increased comfort in discussing sexual health and safer sex practices

  • A stronger sense of sexual autonomy while maintaining emotional intimacy

  • More appreciation for different types of intimacy beyond sex

  • Increased ability to explore new experiences while respecting agreements

Community & Social Well-being

  • A greater sense of belonging in polyamorous or ethically non-monogamous communities

  • More confidence in discussing non-monogamy with friends, family, or others if desired

  • Reduced fear of judgment or external pressure about relationship choices

  • Stronger support networks for navigating challenges in polyamory

  • Increased ability to handle external misunderstandings or stigma together

Ready to start your journey toward stronger relationships?